Comparing Yourself to Others: How I Overcame Unhealthy Comparison.

It’s hard to stop comparing yourself to others. In senior high school, I found myself constantly comparing my life to my classmates from affluent backgrounds. They often received money, non-perishable food items and other stuff they needed to live on campus. They always had full food storage, to the extent that they returned some unused items home on vacation. Meanwhile, I budgeted every penny provided by a single mother who tried her best to care for her child. This constant comparison left me feeling inadequate and frustrated.

I’m not the only one on this battlefield. The rise of social media even exacerbates the tendency to compare your life to others. Most people show the brighter side of their lives, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing everyone else has it better. Relationships, career, education, business and families have been negatively affected because of comparison. It saddens my heart that some people have gone far to end their lives because they felt worthless. The habit of comparison can have detrimental effects on your self-esteem and lead you to set exhausting unrealistic goals for yourself (Harley Therapy).

However, it’s important to acknowledge that not all comparisons are negative. Looking up to mentors, role models or people ahead of you can inspire you to strive for greatness and learn from their experiences. The key lies in striking a balance and recognising when comparison becomes unhealthy.

How to stop toxic comparison

Accept that everyone is different.

Understanding that everyone comes from unique backgrounds and circumstances is crucial. I compared my life to wealthy people and got frustrated with it. Meanwhile, my family had not reached the level their families were at. I was hard on myself because I thought I had to be like them, but life does not work like that. You put a lot of pressure on yourself when you try to be like someone. You don’t have a full picture of how they got there. You end up copying blindly and setting unrealistic expectations for yourself. The best you can do is to learn from their success and use the lessons to shape your life. Your opening chapter can be someone’s closing chapter. Just be kind to yourself and stick to what works for you. 

Practice Gratitude

Cultivating a mindset of gratitude can significantly shift your perspective. Rather than fixating on what you lack, take time to appreciate the blessings in your life, no matter how small they may seem. My soul was at peace anytime I thought about the strength and good health I had. It meant a great opportunity to do a lot of things and make an impact in the world. Gratitude fosters contentment and diminishes the urge to constantly compare yourself to others.

Focus on where you want to be

It wasn’t easy seeing my classmates get most of the things they wanted, but I had one thing in mind; learn hard and become a person of value to make my family’s life better. After assessing myself, I realised I needed to put in so much effort to get there. I psyched my mind for it. At that point, people’s lives and the resources or success they had didn’t bother me much because I had to focus on my life to change my situation. I love the growth I experience every day.

Comparison is not always a bad idea. Comparing for the wrong reason leads to discontentment. Accept the differences in the world, focus on your personal growth and chart your path to fulfillment. It takes a conscious effort to become the best version of yourself. You will be good.